Beast War
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 6 up! Complete! The East Coast and West Coast Misfits team up to stop Cobra's latest plan! Suggestions needed badly! RR Please!
1. Announcement of TeamUp!

Beast War  
  
To Red Witch: Here's a new story for you starring our favorite groups of mutants. Enjoy!  
  
To Aaron: Here's a new story for you starring the Misfits! I hope to include both East and West Coast Teams on this one! Glad you liked seeing Kyle whoop the Hellions.  
  
To Wizard1: I'm glad you like my stories! I hope to have more madness for you in 2004! Here ya go!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Here's some insanity for you!  
  
Chapter 1: Announcement of Team-Up!  
  
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(Mindbender's Lab, Cobra HQ)  
  
"YES!!!!" Dr. Mindbender whooped as he ran to a stereo in his lab. He pressed PLAY and it played House of Pain's "Jump Around". As the song played, the mad scientist jumped around a bunch of holding tanks. Destro walked in and his masked face twisted in disgust at Mindbender's attempt at dancing.  
  
"That is sick." Destro growled at Mindbender. "Just plain sick." He turned off the music, but Mindbender still danced. "HEY MINDBUNGLER!!!"  
  
"Hey who turned off my music and who called me that?" Mindbender looked around. He turned around to notice Destro. "What? Don't you ever celebrate?"  
  
"What is this? Your latest attempt at splicing pig and elephant DNA?" Destro quipped, pointing at the tanks.  
  
"No. That's impossible. Haven't you heard the old Loverboy song?" Mindbender started singing: "Oh, pig and elephant DNA just won't splice..."  
  
"There's no such song! I own all of Loverboy's records and they never recorded such a song!" Destro snapped. He shook his head. "Never mind. What are you really doing with those tanks?"  
  
"Well, the Misfits have been thorns in our sides for quite some time. And those new West Coast Misfits will no doubt be a thorn in Cobra's side as well." Mindbender started.  
  
"No duh." Destro rolled his eyes.  
  
"Well, I figured, what better to stop the Misfits and the West Coast Misfits than stronger versions of themselves?" Mindbender grinned. "During their New Year's party, I managed to obtain samples of the kids' DNA, and I managed to obtain samples of the West Coast kids' DNA at Malibu Base." Mindbender motioned to the tanks.  
  
"Didn't we try a clone before? I know we tried this before." Destro groaned.  
  
"I made a few modifications. I combined the DNA of the kids with animals to create new warriors capable of destroying those kids and the Joes."  
  
"This isn't gonna work." Destro groaned. "And how are those mindless monsters supposed to help Cobra Commander?"  
  
"To provide him with some muscle." Mindbender replied.  
  
"He's got the Dreadnoks." Destro groaned.  
  
"Loyal muscle."  
  
"Oh." Destro nodded. "Whatever." He walked away, muttering about rewarding someone for taking Mindbender out back and shooting him.  
  
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(The Pit)  
  
The Misfits gathered in the Pit meeting room. However, they acted like they normally did.  
  
"Wanda, quit slapping Pietro! Xi, you are not a horse! Lance, Craig, quit throwing paper airplanes at each other! Althea, Todd, don't do that here! Blob, don't get crumbs everywhere! Paul, take off those headphones! John, don't set fire to that! Lila, quit writing those letters to Sam! You nearly gave him a heart attack with the last one! Jake, put that videogame down!" Hawk grumbled. He pulled out his pistol and fired at the ceiling. At the sound of the bang, the kids stopped and looked at Hawk. A piece of ceiling plaster fell on his head. "Ow!" The kids snickered.  
  
"Ooh, smooth Hawk. Are you always this charming?" Lila snickered.  
  
"Oh stop." Hawk grumbled. "Okay, kids. Here's your new mission." Hawk activated a screen, showing a building.  
  
"Do we get to set it on fire?" John grinned.  
  
"No, John. You don't get to set it on fire." Hawk sighed. Pyro pouted.  
  
"Aw, nutbunnies!" John pouted.  
  
"Personally, I'd like to be a bodyguard at a Guthrie family reunion..." Lila started drooling. "Sammyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..."  
  
"Ooh-kay." Lance shook his head. "Lila, you have Sam on the brain, you know that?"  
  
"Sammyyyyyyyyy..." Lila drooled. The other Misfits shook their heads.  
  
"Right. Anyway, there's a big anti-terrorism conference going on here in this building, the Mile High Convention Center in Denver, Colorado. We've been asked to provide security."  
  
"The West Coast guys are closer. Why don't they take care of it?" Craig wondered.  
  
"Actually, we think Cobra may be planning something big. So you guys will be working with the West Coast team." Hawk replied.  
  
"Hey Dudes!" Ace walked into the room, alongside his West Coast teammates. When Lila and Alison laid eyes on each other, they yelled in shock.  
  
"Alison? The goofy disco diva? Is that you?" Lila wondered.  
  
"Lila? The insane rocker? Is that you?" Ali wondered.  
  
"It IS you!" The two girls hugged.  
  
"You two know each other?" Kyle raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Dazzy here sang backup for me for a while." Lila explained.  
  
"Lila teased me mercilessly because I prefer ABBA to AC/DC." Ali groaned.  
  
"Ah, ABBA's a bunch of fluffmongers!" Lila teased. "They can't play any real music worth a lick. They ain't worthy of kissing my big black boots!"  
  
"Speaking of boots, what happened to Guido?" Wanda asked.  
  
"Oh, he went up and joined the military on me." Lila pouted playfully. "He got inspired and wants to be a Joe."  
  
"Well, we're no strangers to mutant Joes." Hawk groaned. "Between Low Light, and Bulldog and Lionheart." He heard a familiar scream.  
  
"SAVE ME!!! SOMEONE GET HER AWAY FROM ME!!!!!" Barbecue's scream rang out.  
  
"Ace, you didn't bring any new racy letters, did you?" Theresa groaned.  
  
"Well..." Ace nervously scratched the back of his head. "Uhm, I did have one from Catseye that I let Airtight read."  
  
"OH MY GOD!!!" Airtight's voice rang out.  
  
"And there was that one from Tarot that Beach Head confiscated." Ace gulped.  
  
"HOLY TOLEDO!!! YOU CAN DO THAT WITH A DECK OF CARDS?!?!"  
  
"Ace, you really need to tell them to stop sending those letters." Toshi grumbled.  
  
"Hey Ace, thanks for the letters!" Pyro grinned. "I'm almost done with my book thanks to you! I'll give 'em back to you when I'm done."  
  
"No prob, John." Ace waved.  
  
"So we have to join forces and prevent any disasters." Althea said. "Sounds easy."  
  
"And if things don't work out, we can create a disaster." Jake shrugged. He had gotten used to the insanity around him.  
  
Well, the East and West Coast Missfits are teaming up to do some guarding work! What disasters will happen? What animals did Mindbender combine with the Misfit DNA? What is Cobra up to? Will the Misfits be able to stop it? Find out in the next exciting chapter! 


	2. Fighting Boredom!

Beast War  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel except for: Althea, Xi, and Trinity (Red Witch), Leathersuit (Sparky Genocide), The Starr Brothers and Cousin, Virus, Velocity, Red Dragon, and Thunderbolt (Mine. May be used with permission.)  
  
To Red Witch: Oh, I'm sure Mindebender used some snake DNA. Are you sure it's a good idea having Arcade in the Misfits? I don't think it is. He might end up secretly building his first Murderworld under the Pit! I personally would make Arcade's madness grow more and more despite Psyche- Out's efforts. Not to mention the fact that as a result, he grows increasingly more and more hateful and hostile towards the Misfits and mutants in general.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Hmm, tension between the two Misfit teams, huh? That may be a possibility. As for Bedlam, Husk, Angel or Arcade. Well, I have been toying with the idea of having a certain sorceress that Kid Razor wants a few pieces of to magically mess up Arcade's mind, and use him to get Razor's guitar for her. As for the new recruits, Husk will fall under the Starr Family spell. I'd love to hear your ideas for new Acolytes.  
  
To RogueFanKC: Hey dude! It has been a long time since you've reviewed my stuff! Good to hear from you again! I thought you lost interest in my stories! Well, I wouldn't worry too much either. Mindbender's stuff is crazy, and sometimes his projects blow up in his face, so I wouldn't worry. Put me in your Author Alert list, please!  
  
Chapter 2: Fighting Boredom!  
  
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(Mile High Convention Center's parking entrance, one hour earlier.)  
  
A forest green sedan pulled into a parking space. A portly man in a suit with a black pompadour-like hairdo emerged from the car, carrying a briefcase. An assistant ran up to the man.  
  
"Mr. Mondel, allow me to take your briefcase." The assistant said. The portly man smiled.  
  
"Why thank you." He said in a slight French accent, handing his briefcase to the assistant. The assistant smirked.  
  
"No, thank you." The assistant produced a spray can from seemingly nowhere, and sprayed the Frenchman in the face, causing him to fall over, knocked out. The assistant pressed a button on a watch and the assistant's body faded, revealing Virus. He happily held up the briefcase. "Oh yeah." Zartan appeared. He used the powers his mutant gene had blessed him to keep hidden in the shadows. Sadly, the gene also gave him a strong aversion to bright lights.  
  
"Nice job, Virus." Zartan complimented.  
  
"It was easy." Virus shrugged. "Now for the next part. That bloody idiot Mindbender had better have his distraction ready to go. I'm not going to be happy if I have to deal with two bloody batches of Misfits. Anyway, I'll get the info on all anti-terrorist activities they make up, and you blow the place!"  
  
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(In front of the Convention Center, One hour later)  
  
Lady Jaye, Spirit, Roadblock, Gunbarrel, Jester, and Kicker accompanied the West Coast and East Coast Misfits inside. The two mutant teams were all clad in their costumes.  
  
"Too bad it isn't a videogame convention." Ace quipped. Kyle looked around at all the dignitaries and assorted VIPs.  
  
"The Thunderbolt thinks this is a jabroni convention." Kyle grumbled.  
  
"Oh stop." Lance groaned.  
  
"I'm hungry." Fred said.  
  
"You ate a whole 6-pound ham before we left, and you're still hungry?!" Thunderbird asked in disbelief.  
  
"Yeah." Fred sighed. "Hope they got a buffet."  
  
"Hey Sushi, anybody from the home country here?" Kyle grinned. Sunfire sneered at the name Kyle called him by. Even though the electrokinetic meant no offense, Sunfire still hated the name Kyle gave him. He also tended to call Sunfire "Sunny", another nickname the Japanese mutant was none too fond of.  
  
"Yes, the Japanese have sent a delegation as well." Sunfire answered, trying to keep his temper under control.  
  
"Quit teasing him, Kyle." Theresa groaned.  
  
"Okay, kids." Jester said. "You know the plan." Rahne noticed that some of the VIPs were shooting venomous glances at the costumed mutants.  
  
"Ah, ignore them, Rahne." Paul grinned, sensing her worry. "They're just jealous."  
  
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(Denver, Colorado)  
  
"Ugh. Why do we..." Tomax started.  
  
"Have to transport these ugly things?" Xamot finished with a grumble. They were carrying Dr. Mindbender's creations in a train of truck rigs, decorated to look like a circus train on wheels. "This is.."  
  
"Completely stupid!" Tomax groaned. "Remind me to..."  
  
"Beat Mindbender within an inch of his life!" Xamot grumbled.  
  
"Man, those things..."  
  
"Creep me out!" The twins whined as they turned a corner. {I wish we were facing the Starr Brothers again.}  
  
"I think we need..." Tomax sighed.  
  
"To get really, really drunk after this." Xamot nodded. They heard an explosion and lots of screams behind them. The twins looked behind them.  
  
"Aw no." They groaned together.  
  
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(Mile High Convention Center)  
  
"Man, this party is so boring!" Terrell grumbled. He and his East Coast counterpart, Quicksilver, were watching the banquet.  
  
"Nothing has happened so far." Pietro sighed. "Hey Mason, I got some stuff for some pranks." Velocity raised an eyebrow in interest.  
  
"I'm listening." While Pietro and Terrell were planning, the leaders of the two Misfits teams were talking.  
  
"Any signs?" Althea asked Theresa.  
  
"No." Siryn sighed. "I'm beginning to sympathize with the speedsters. They're going nuts with boredom and I think I am too."  
  
"Yeah. I have a feeling Cobra's going to attack, though." Althea nodded.  
  
"They'd better soon." Siryn groaned. "I'm going to be put to sleep with all this boring conversation!"  
  
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(Outside the convention center)  
  
Two guards were attaching for anything suspicious. However, they both looked bored.  
  
"See anything?" One guard asked the other.  
  
"Nope." The other yawned. They then heard something flying. "What the?" The two looked up and saw what appeared to be a half-human, half-bat creature with long blond hair swooping down. It had bat wings growing from its back, and it looked slightly feminine. It opened its fanged mouth, firing a sonic blast from its mouth.  
  
What was that creature? Are there any others like it? What'll the Misfit teams do? What kind of pranks are the two speedsters planning? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!! 


	3. Mindbender's Creations Revealed!

Beast War  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah, Sparky Genocide suggested some tensions between the two Misfit teams. I do intend the West Coast team to get along better with the X-Men than the East Coast team do. And did I mention that Husk will fall under the Starr Family spell? No, I read up on the Ani-Men on the internet, and I don't plan to make these guys into the Ani-Men. BTW, When's that sequel coming up?! As for Arcade being a Misfit, I have been toying with an idea: Maybe in another attempt to get Kid Razor's mystical guitar, Selene uses her magical powers to mess with Arcade from afar somehow. The magic causes Arcade's sanity to slip away, transforming him into a murderous maniac, and the Black Queen promises to restore it if Kid Razor hands the guitar over.  
  
To Aaron: Yep, the West and East Coast Misfits are working together. I'm glad you like the reactions to the letters Ace gets, it's a wonder he doesn't react that way himself. Well, considering his old man was a rock roadie and his mom was a groupie, he's probably used to hearing torrid stories.  
  
To Dylan Wiles: No, the Misfits are the creation of Red Witch. I just added Darkstar, Starchild, Pyro, and Lila to the team, and created a second team of Misfits.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Holy Toledo! That's a lot of possible Acolytes! And most of my X-Men knowledge comes from my X-Men guidebook. I am familiar with Jeremy, I read an Uncanny X-Men comic while at the store once with him in it. And I am slightly familiar with Emce. Doesn't she have a thing for ol' Bucket-Head?  
  
To RogueFanKC: Homework during Winter Break? That sucks! I really want to concentrate more on the Misfit teams with this story.  
  
To Red Witch: I don't really intend for Xi to bond with any of Mindbender's creations. Knowing that egomaniac, he probably has only given them enough intelligence to obey his commands and that's it. I read "The New Guy" and it's good so far. I'm still not sure have Arcade a Misfit is a good idea, but I am willing to give it a chance.  
  
Chapter 3: Mindbender's Creations Revealed!  
  
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"What?" Siryn and Althea asked a guard.  
  
"There's a big bat creature outside the building." The guard whispered.  
  
"I got it." Thresa ran outside. What she saw was a pair of guards firing at the blonde-haired half-girl, half-bat. It responded with sonic screams. "What? That thing looks a little like me, and it has my powers!" She flew up to the creature on her screams. "Who are you?"  
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!" The bat-creature fired a vocal blast.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Mindbender laughed at the West Coast Misfit leader from a jeep. "Like my creation? Technically, you are its mother."  
  
"What do you mean I'm the mother of that thing?!?! And who are you?!" Siryn asked angrily.  
  
"I am Dr. Mindbender, genius extraordinaire." Mindbender grinned arrogantly. "I created that bat-creature by combining your DNA with the DNA of the bat. Appropriate for you, considering your power is sound-based, and bats use sound to determine their location."  
  
"I'm so honored." Siryn growled, shooting the arrogant Cobra scientist an angry look. "AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!" The bat-creature took the Irish girl down with a sonic scream. "YE ARE A DEAD MAN, MINDBENDER!!!" Siryn screamed as she covered her ears. A fireball and a stream of flames hit the bat creature, knocking it back. Sunfire and Pyro raced out. The Japanese mutant immediately helped up Siryn, while Pyro pointed his flamethrowers at Mindbender.  
  
"Start talking mate, before I roast you like a big ol' piggy! WHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Pyro cackled insanely. Mindbender smirked.  
  
"I do not think so." Mindbender smirked. Two streams of flames flew from nowhere out at Pyro.  
  
"Yipe!" St. John Allerdyce waved his hand, and the flame streams flew up harmlessly into the air.  
  
"What?" Sunfire growled. He noticed the sources of the flames. "Pyro! Look!" The Australian noticed two more man-creatures. One was a hybrid of a human and a fire salamander, with black-and-blond hair. Its body was surrounded by flames. The other was a cross between a human and a komodo dragon. It had red hair with yellow streaks at the temples. "What are those filthy creatures?"  
  
"I combined the DNA of you two with a fire salamander to create that one. It was a great idea, considering your powers would work well together." Mindbender pointed at Toshi and St. John, then at the fire salamander creature. "Sunfire's DNA lets it create the flame, and Pyro's DNA lets it control the flame. It should be obvious who the komodo dragon creature calls on for DNA."  
  
"Red Dragon." The Japanese and Australian mutants said together.  
  
"Ah, you kiddies are smarter than I thought." Mindbender grinned. The rest of the two Misfit teams ran outside. "Hey kids."  
  
"Mindbender, what are you up to?" Lance growled. Most of the misfits were really none too fond of Mindbender.  
  
"The Thunderbolt should whoop your jabroni self all over Denver!" Thunderbolt hollered at the mad doctor.  
  
"You'll have to go through them first." Mindbender smirked. Several more creatures appeared. "The bear creature I created with a combination of the DNA of John Proudstar and Fred Dukes, aka Thunderbird and the Blob. The electric eel was from Thunderbolt's DNA. The lion creature was created with the DNA of Ace Starr, aka Wildstar. A simple creation because Ace's DNA has some lion-like characteristics." Ace snarled at his own double, which looked like a half-man, half-lion, with a huge brown mane with black tips. Xi was shocked when he saw his own double: It looked like a more ferocious version of himself on steroids with sharp teeth, a whiplike tail and hood like a Cobra.  
  
"Mindbender, you monster!" Xi said.  
  
"You were always such a failure." The Cobra doctor huffed. He pointed at a cheetah-like monster. "This one was created with a combination of the DNA of Quicksilver and Velocity. The black cat was from Wanda's DNA."  
  
"Oh, beautiful." Wanda grumbled sarcastically.  
  
"The toad creature was Virus's suggestion." Mindbender grinned.  
  
"I can tell. It's butt-ugly." Todd growled.  
  
"And I guess the shark creature comes from my DNA?" Althea asked. Lance roared in rage when he figured out his clone's splice.  
  
"I HATE COYOTES!!!" Lance screamed. "MINDBENDER, YOU ARE DEAD!!!"  
  
"Think of it as revenge for when you sent the coyote out against me." Mindbender smirked.  
  
"What'd you use for us?" Paul and Craig asked in unison. Mindbender pointed at a mutated horse-man with a swirly purple-and-black birthmark over its right eye.  
  
"Cute. Real cute." Craig growled, pulling out his nightstick from his jacket.  
  
"I really couldn't think o an animal appropriate for the Starr Brothers." Mindbender shrugged. "I tried. I just came up with a horse randomly."  
  
"That thing's powers can't hurt us, Mindbender!" Paul said. "We can't be hypnotized by each other, and our eye lasers can't hurt us."  
  
"So he used our DNA to create these monstrosities." John glared. "You, Dr. Mindbender, are a sick man. You create abominations against nature on a regular basis."  
  
"You kidding, Proudstar? He's number 1 on Mother Nature's hit list." Pietro quipped.  
  
"Couldn't think of one for either of us?" Rahne snarled, pointing at herself and X23.  
  
"My wolf creature was for you two, mostly because your DNA has lupine characteristics." Mindbender motioned to a wolf creature with auburn fur.  
  
"I don't care! We can defeat them!" Proudstar hollered, charging in.  
  
"Thunderbird! Thunderbolt! No!" Siryn screamed. The Apache and Boston mutants were charging the creatures.  
  
Here we go! Can the combined powers of the East Coast and West Coast Misfits defeat the creatures? What of Dr. Mindbender? What of the Joes and the people in the convention center? Fin d out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	4. Huge Trap!

Beast War  
  
To RogueFanKC: I really want to concentrate on the two teams of Misfits in this story, so the X-Men won't be making an appearance in this story. BTW, I got the idea from an old GI Joe episode. I want to do a story based on the GI Joe Movie, with the East and West Coast Misfits, but I don't know where I can obtain a copy of the film.  
  
To Red Witch: Here's some more of the story for you! Enjoy! BTW, I got a suggestion for you: In "The New Guy", introduce Virus. You could end up revealing how his whole obsession with Althea started.  
  
Chapter 4: Huge Trap!  
  
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"YAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" John Proudstar and Kyle Wildfire charged the creatures. Kyle fired thunder blasts left and right from his hands at the creatures. The Eel-oid, however, had Kyle's mutant immunity to electrical shock. The Eel-oid just pushed Kyle back with a burst of electricity. The Bear-oid knocked John Proudstar back to the group.  
  
"We gotta get the Joes!" Dazzler exclaimed.  
  
"I don't think so!" Mindbender grinned. "Virus, now! The muties are outside!"  
  
"Watch your mouth, Mindbender!" Virus's voice snapped from Mindbender's com- link. "I'm a mutant too, pal!" A blue forcefield appeared over the convention center.  
  
"Oh no!" Ali screamed.  
  
"I'll try to teleport inside!" Lila concentrated, but before she could teleport, the Lion-oid lunged and tackled her, calling upon Wildstar's enhanced speed, reflexes, and agility. The lion-like creature in turn got ten energy-charged charged claws to the side from Ace, and the battle ensued.  
  
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(Inside the Mile High Convention Center)  
  
"It worked!" Virus grinned. He was currently in control of a robot he invented, inspired by the enforcer robots in the first Robocop movie. With it, he blasted away, causing the VIPs to scatter, and the six Joes were forced to face it. They fired their weapons, but the laser blasts just bounced off the armor.  
  
"None of my weapons can penetrate that armor!" Gunbarrel grumbled. He then whined. "Aw, why didn't I bring that laser bazooka I invented?"  
  
"Gunbarrel, we really need to talk." Jester sighed.  
  
"How do we stop this thing?" Kicker asked.  
  
"Uh uh uh, babe." Virus laughed, his voice sounding slightly mechanized. "The question is, how do you get out?" From a barrel in the robot's right arm, Virus fired several teleporter disks, an invention Virus had used earlier to kidnap Dr. Rankin. The disks hit the Joes, teleporting them to a cell built into a wall in the basement. It had metal walls all over, except for the front, which was a window of what looked like clear plastic.  
  
"Where are we?" Spirit snapped.  
  
"I dunno, but I don't like it." Lady Jaye looked around.  
  
"This place is locked as tight as a drum!" Roadblock checked the corners.  
  
"Hah!" Kicker tried to kick down the plastic wall, but failed.  
  
"PAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!" A familiar voice crowed from outside. The six Joes turned and saw Leathersuit alongside a bald man with a moustache and in a safari outfit.  
  
"Man, I'm glad I came back from vacation to see this." The bald, mustachioed man laughed in an Australian accent.  
  
"Yeah, Uncle Gnawgahyde." Leathersuit grinned. "But personally, they should let me break their BONES!!! Give 'em lots of PAIN!!!!" Leathersuit flexed his muscles as he said 'pain'.  
  
"What're you Dreadnoks up to?!" Lady Jaye hollered.  
  
"Oh, just sending a message." Gnawgahyde grinned. "That we cannot be stopped."  
  
"Yeah." Leathersuit grinned. "And I'd watch the talkin', ladies! That cell has a limited supply of air."  
  
"Oh, they won't have to worry about talking." Gnawgahyde laughed. Out of a thin vent, some pink gas started seeping in. "And don't think your little mutant buddies will be of any help. They can't get in, even if they defeat Dr. Mindbender's creations."  
  
"I still think they should have let me make those Joes FEEL!!!! SOME!!! PAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!" Leathersuit flexed his muscles.  
  
"Do you always have to flex your muscles while you do that?" Gnawgahyde asked.  
  
"I am a wrestler." Leathersuit shrugged. "I have to have a trademark taunt and catchphrase. Hulk Hogan flexes his muscles all the time. Nobody complains. And many wrestlers today have catchphrases. Mine is FEEL!!!! SOME!!!! PAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!" Leathersuit flexed his muscles. Gnawgahyde groaned.  
  
"You've been into that wrestling stuff since you were four." The Australian Dreadnok shrugged.  
  
"What is this?" Lady Jaye coughed, but she started giggling, and then she burst out laughing. The other Joes joined her in laughter.  
  
"Well, I always wanted to go out laughing!" Jester chuckled. The Joes tried to stop laughing, but they couldn't.  
  
"Well, I've heard of people dying laughing, but this is a bit much. Ah well." Gnawgahyde shrugged.  
  
"PAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Leathersuit flexed his muscles.  
  
"And I thought Road Pig had some odd quirks." Gnawgahyde groaned.  
  
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(Inside the conference room)  
  
"Ahhhhh, what to do." Zartan grinned, throwing off his costume. The Dreadnoks were with him. He paced up and down the stage. {Virus had better hurry up with getting that information. We only have a half-hour before this place blows sky-high. If he's trying to get security camera footage of Wavedancer from the Pit again, I'm going to knock that techno-nerd's teeth out!}  
  
"BUUUUUUUUUURP!!!!!" Road Pig belched in a dignitary's face. The white-and- pink-haired Dreadnok held a chicken leg. "Excuse me." Donald added. "This chicken is a gastronomic delight." Road Pig took over again. "And it's real good, too!"  
  
"And the punch ain't too bad, but it needs some help from our friends Jack Daniels and Jim Beam." Ripper poured some alcohol in the punch.  
  
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(Outside)  
  
"YIIIIIIII!!!!!" Pyro leapt out of the way of a water blast that the Shark- oid used to try and drown him. "I HATE WATER!!! WATER IS AN EVIL, EVIL THING!!!!"  
  
"RAHHHH!!!!" Thunderbird and Blob double-teamed the Bear-oid, trading punches left and right with the creature. Dazzler screamed and ran, blasting light bursts at her clone, a half-mink creature.  
  
"GET THIS THING AWAY FROM ME!!!!!" Dazzler screamed.  
  
"You kids had better hurry!" Mindbender cackled insanely. "We planted a surprise inside the building."  
  
"What kind of surprise?" Lance yelled as he grappled with the coyote monster, earth shaking around them.  
  
"A bomb." Mindbender laughed. "After Virus gets all the information that the anti-terrorist conference records, the Dreadnoks will blow the place, taking those lousy Joes with it! And you can't do a thing about it! Even if you do defeat the creatures, you'll never be able to get through the forcefield." Mindbender checked his watch. "And you only have around 28 minutes." The Misfit teams seethed.  
  
Oh man! The pressure is on for our favorite mutants! Can the East and West Coast Misfit teams stop the clones and save their Joe team-mates? Can the Joes escape? Can the gang save the conference? Find out in the next exciting chapter! 


	5. Joe Escape!

Beast War  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Wow. Well, I hope to continue doing Gnawgahyde justice. Personalities were never my strong suit. Love your idea. I may give it a shot! From what I heard, it does seem to me she has a thing for ol' Bucket- Head. I mean, I think she does tell him she fell in love with him in the comics.  
  
To Red Witch: Aw nuts! How the heck do you do it in advance? And if you do it in advance, why do you put up only one chapter a day? Anyway, here's some more fun for you!  
  
To Wizard1: Yup, Mindbender's gonna get it alright! It is true that most of the West Coast Misfits have no history with the X-Men, except for Ace, Rahne, and X23 (And Theresa, indirectly). Ask for which Starr will cast the family spell...*grins evilly* Well, I can't tell you. You'll find out soon. And yes, the idea for this story came from an old GI Joe episode. I thought it'd make an interesting L1701E remake. As for the Dreadnoks, it's true that none of them are very honorable, but they are also none too bright. Think about it...  
  
To Metal Dragon1: I loved the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home". Great stuff! I hope to see Kid Razor and Tusk in the story soon! Oh yeah, I got the very last chapter of "Birth of a Juke Box Hero" up! Check it out! Where the heck are Firestorm and Blast Radius? Well, why don't we find out...  
  
Chapter 5: Joe Escape!  
  
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(Outside the convention center)  
  
"AH!" Sunfire bounced off the forcefield, the Wolf-oid on his case. With a growl, he checked his watch, which he set to tell how long he had before the bomb blew. 20 minutes. He cursed in Japanese, then pressed the side of his mask, throwing a few fireballs at the Wolf-oid for good measure. "Dial- Up, come in!" Back at Malibu Base, the Malibu Joe communications officer, the former Japanese operative currently enlisted in the United States Navy codenamed Dial-Up skidded to a console on a swirly chair.  
  
"Dial-Up here. Come in, Sunfire." The Joe responded.  
  
"We have a situation." Sunfire reported. "A forcefield is over the convention center..."  
  
"I've been monitoring your situation." Dial-Up interrupted quickly. "I have been in contact with Dial-Tone and Airtight over at the Pit."  
  
"Sunfire, what're you doing?!" Althea screamed, grappling with the Cheetah- oid.  
  
"Trying to find a way to stop these creatures and get inside!" Toshiro snapped.  
  
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(Inside the convention center)  
  
"I'm going to get some sodas. Watch over them." Gnawgahyde told his alligator-like nephew. Leathersuit nodded as the Dreadnok walked away. He grinned at the laughing Joes and started flexing his muscles.  
  
"Too bad you norms are gonna choke. I was hoping to give you LOTS!!!!!! OF!!!!!! PAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The mutant Dreadnok flexed his muscles. Kicker got an idea.  
  
"Hey ha ha Leatherbrain hee hee hee why don't you face us in combat?!" Kicker yelled. The other Joes got the idea, despite their laughing.  
  
"Yeah, you're a wrestler. Don't you want to fight us?" Spirit asked.  
  
"Yeah!" Jester agreed. "C'mon, Leatherhead!" The other Joes added on to the taunting. Leathersuit grinned.  
  
"Okay." Leathersuit agreed. He just couldn't resist the offer for a free fight. "Prepare for PAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN!!!!!" He flexed his muscles as he opened the cell. "Now to beat you into HEY!!!" Kicker and the Joes beat the mutant Dreadnok senseless.  
  
"How's that for pain?" Kicker grinned. "Let's go! Yo Joe!" The six Joes made their escape. A few seconds later, Gnawgahyde entered, carrying sodas.  
  
"DEAR GOD!!!" He screamed, dropping his sodas. The Australian ran to his beaten-down American nephew. "Hey kid, speak to me!"  
  
"Daddy, Mommy's doing freaky things with the mailman again." Leathersuit moaned dizzily. "Are you going to use the bazooka or the AK-47?"  
  
"Uh-oh." Gnawgahyde groaned.  
  
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(In the Convention Center)  
  
"Guys, look!" Kicker pointed at a bomb planted on a support beam. The bomb's counter was ticking down. It was now at 23 minutes 15 seconds.  
  
"Aw great! Anybody know how to defuse a bomb?" Jester groaned.  
  
"No." Lady Jaye grumbled.  
  
"Man, I'd kill to have Firestorm and Blast Radius here." Gunbarrel sighed. "They'd know what to do with this thing."  
  
"Blast Radius is a monkey." Spirit reminded. "An insane monkey at that."  
  
"Lady Jaye to Pit. Come in, Pit." Lady Jaye said to her Joe-Com.  
  
"Dial-Tone here." Dial-Tone responded.  
  
"Patch us up to Malibu Base. Get us Firestorm on the line." Lady Jaye said.  
  
"Dial-Up's working on it." Dial-Tone responded.  
  
"Roadblock, you, Kicker, Jester, and myself will free the hostages." Spirit said.  
  
"We'll stay here and try to disarm the bomb." Lady Jaye said, pointing to herself and Gunbarrel.  
  
"Let's go!" Kicker said. The six Joes did their planned assignments.  
  
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(Outside the convention center)  
  
"YEOW!!!" Thunderbird barely managed to dodge a fire blast from the Komodo- oid, before it got slashed by Red Dragon. "Thanks, Red Dragon."  
  
"No prob." Dragon nodded. The Shark-oid tried to ambush the Red Dragon, but John Proudstar nailed the creature with a hard uppercut. "Now we're even."  
  
"I suppose." The Apache mutant nodded.  
  
"Hey Jabroni! Eat thunder!" Kyle fired an electrical blast at the Bear-oid. The thunder blasts bounced off the creature's skin, thanks to the Blob's DNA providing invulnerability.  
  
"I can't believe this!" Siryn growled as she tried to out-fly a group of homing fireballs. {We got fifteen minutes to find a way inside and get that bomb. I hope Airtight delivers on his promise quickly.}  
  
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(The basement)  
  
"Okay, Dial-Up. Get Firestorm here." Lady Jaye said to her Joe-Com.  
  
"Firestorm, tell Blast Radius to stop doing that on my leg!" Dial-Up's voice screamed from the Joe-Com.  
  
"Sorry! He's just telling you he likes you! Bad monkey! Off! Off!" The sounds of spraying were heard. "Okay, where were we?"  
  
"Listening to you get your monkey off Dial-Up." Gunbarrel grinned.  
  
"We need help taking care of this bomb." Lady Jaye responded.  
  
Well, time's going fast! What'll happen next? What was Leathersuit thinking? Can the Misfit teams defeat the creatures and get inside the forcefield? Can Lady Jaye and Gunbarrel defuse the bomb? Find out in the next exciting chapter! 


	6. The Day is Saved!

Beast War  
  
To Aaron: Yeah, I remember Perry Saturn's old "You're Welcome" gimmick. I wonder what happened to that guy. He just up and vanished! His Moppy thing was so funny.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Well, old Croc-Boy can't resist the chance to get himself a good fight. As for the Superstars, well, here's their instruments:  
  
Paul: Vocals, Rhythm Guitar, Keyboard Lila: Vocals, Rhythm Guitar (Does some solo work on occasion), Keyboard Lance: Backup Vocals, Lead Guitar Craig: Backup Vocals, Bass Guitar John: Backup Vocals, Drums, Percussion  
  
As for the songwriter, you'd have to assume it's John. In the comics, Pyro was a journalist and a novelist, and Red Witch paints John as a writer by hobby, so you'd assume he can write a song. Lila helps on occasion. As for their favorite groups, their look was very KISS-based. I assume they've heard of those bands. Personally, I've only heard of Queensryche, Krokus, Saxon, Priest, Cooper, and Maiden. Never heard of those other bands on that list.  
  
To Red Witch: Glad I could make you chuckle. As for the putting up one or two chapters a day, I see your point. Anyway, I hope you like this next chapter!  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah, Leathersuit can never resist the chance to get in a good fight. Let's find out what happens next!  
  
To Metal Dragon1: Here's some more for you!  
  
Chapter 6: The Day is Saved!  
  
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(Inside the convention center)  
  
"YO JOE!!!!" Kicker, Jester, Spirit, and Roadblock charged the main hall.  
  
"Get down now!" Kicker ordered. The hostages hid under tables right then and here.  
  
"Bloody Joes!" Zartan fired his laser rifle. The other Dreadnoks fired their weapons, and Virus was inside his robot.  
  
{I hope Mindbender remembers to bring me Althea alive} Virus sighed mentally. He fired his blasters at the Joes.  
  
"What do we do?" Kicker asked.  
  
"Well, we need to beat the robot. It might take everything we got." Roadblock replied.  
  
"I know!" Jester grinned as he saw the fire hose. "Cover me!" The pilot raced to the hose and let it rip.  
  
"Jester, watch it!" Spirit yelled.  
  
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Jester laughed insanely as he soaked the Dreadnoks and completely short-circuited Virus's robot.  
  
"AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Virus screamed as the pain forced him out of the robot. "Oh man, that really hurts." He got knocked out by Kicker.  
  
"Okay, now to check on Lady Jaye." Spirit activated his Joe-Com. "Lady Jaye, is the bomb defused?"  
  
"Almost. Firestorm, tell BR to quit screeching! What's his problem?!"  
  
"Sorry. He's just cranky." Firestorm responded. "Okay, now cut the blue wire."  
  
"Got it!" Lady Jaye smiled.  
  
"Hey, the forcefield's going down!" Roadblock noticed.  
  
"Let's give the kids a hand!" Jester said.  
  
"I'll take care of that." Gunbarrel came up and noticed the creatures through the window. He pulled out one of the rifles on his back and checked it.  
  
"What is that gun for?" Kicker asked. Gunbarrel smirked.  
  
"Hunting." The Malibu Joe walked outside calmly and noticed the battle between the creatures and the two Misfit teams. He calmed aimed and took one creature down with each shot.  
  
"WHAT?!" Mindbender roared.  
  
"What'd you do? You liked animals!" Ace wondered in shock. Gunbarrel laughed.  
  
"Check out their necks." He grinned. The kids did so. Imbedded in each creature's neck was a small dart. "Tranquilizers. I made this Tranc Cannon a while back. Good thing I brought it."  
  
"You ruined Cobra's plans for the last time AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Mindbender went down, knocked out by a scream from Siryn.  
  
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(An hour later)  
  
"ARRGH!!!!" Virus screamed as two big MPs carried him off. "This is all your fault, Toad! Your fault! I will free you Althea! Arrest Toad! He's got my girlfriend hostage! It's his fault! It's always his fault!"  
  
"I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up blaming me for American Idol!" Toad groaned.  
  
"I think he's jealous because he's not a mere shred of the man you are, Toddles." Althea grinned, giving Todd a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"You kids are incredible!" One of the VIP's grinned. "How do you kids do it?"  
  
"Because we can." The Starrs said in unison, Paul and Ace grinning. The kids were given medals. Unbeknownst to them, Mystique was watching, disguised as a pretty reporter.  
  
{Two new teams of Misfits, huh? Well, I...uh oh.} She turned around and saw General Whithalf grin at her. "Yipe!" She ran off and Whithalf gave chase. The old general had come to check on the kids.  
  
"Wait, I just want your name!" Whithalf called.  
  
"Magnus, you are a dead man." Mystique grumbled.  
  
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(The Pit)  
  
The two Misfit teams met up to celebrate, and the usual insanity followed.  
  
"OWWWWWWCH!!!! WANDA!!! X23!!!! THAT HURTS!!!!!!" Wanda and X23, covered in paint, were whacking Pietro with baseball bats.  
  
"YOU ARE A JABRONI, SUNFIRE!!!!" Kyle roared at the Japanese mutant.  
  
"CALL ME THAT ONE MORE TIME, AND YOU ARE TOAST THUNDERBOLT!!!!!" Sunfire roared back at the Boston native.  
  
"I HATE THAT COYOTE!!!!" Lance banged his head on the table.  
  
"COME TO MAMA, TODDLES!!!" Althea squealed.  
  
"TRINITY!!!! LEAVE MY PANTS ALONE!!!!" Thunderbird hollered.  
  
"HEY, WHO ATE MY SANDWICH!?!?!?!?" Blob yelled. The other kids were hooting, hollering, yelling, laughing and throwing food. The adults were watching.  
  
"The adults engage in this stuff back at Malibu Base." Kicker grinned.  
  
"Yeah. Wipe-Out and Jester usually start most of them by throwing stuff at Hardcase." Gunbarrel laughed. "Gonzalez is none too happy with that."  
  
"Yeah, but the man's nuts with food. He's wayyyyy too inventive!" The Joes heard Kyle say.  
  
"Why do I get the feeling that this is not the end of our adventures?" Spirit groaned.  
  
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(An empty beach in Malibu)  
  
"Look, I can appreciate the fact that you don't mind that I have blue skin, but please LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!" Mystique screamed as Whithalf chased her. With a groan, she morphed into a cheetah and ran at top speed. She looked behind and she was shocked. {HOW IS HE ABLE TO KEEP UP!?!?}  
  
Well, another adventure comes to an end! Will the East and West Coast Misfits team up again? Will Mystique be able to get away from General Whithalf? What more adventures will happen? Find out in our next story! This is L1701E signing off! 


End file.
